Yay

So I haven't been very good about my workouts, but I have been active. It's so hard to devote that time to driving cross town to get there.

HOWEVER, for about 2 weeks, I've had houseguests who are mostly vegetarian (we do eat some fish). So I've been eating a ton of veggies and not hardly any meat (a little, like when we go out, or for lunch at school.) And today, I got it.

The first "hey, are you losing weight?" comment from someone who sees me on an irregular basis!

Hooray! It could be better, it could be more people, but I think I am still managing to lose a little bit and slim down. The veggie diet helps, as does not drinking too much (2 big glasses) of wine every other night.

So, the fitness plan is less extreme thanks to the still sore, still stiff, occasionally painful ankle and my lack of willingness to sacrifice time to drive to the gym. But it is still kinda working. Which is good. It IS after all about life, and not just a few weeks of crash dieting.

Alternatives to the Gym

The gym we use is on base, which means a 20 minute drive. Now, as things go, that's not so far. But when you have a really short day of "non-child" time, the extra 40 minutes of driving is a whole lot! So the last week or so, I've been trying to think of ways to exercise that don't involve schlepping across town to the officially sanctioned exercise mill.

Our making of a whole bunch of hula hoops for exercise purposes yesterday will help a bit. If one stands and learns to rigorously hula hoop for 30 minutes, that's cardio & core work. I could feel it in my abs yesterday, in fact. And I only have to go out into my backyard.

So that's one strategy I'm pursuing because I really don't want to give up that extra 40 minutes a day of possible time to get things other than sitting in a car done.

Back to It

So the day I fell, I was lying on the ground waiting for Andrew to come get me and help me walk into the house and as the tears were dribbling from the corners of my eyes I realized that I was going to be seriously delayed in my fitness plan by the ankle incident. I tried really hard to not be TOO bad without the workout-- not eat like a piggie, not drink like a fish. But I have been a bit of a backslider, and I suspect any weight I lost on my two weeks of working out is probably back again. And my aerobic fitness is not where it was.

I did go to bellydancing this past week & learned the rest of a very cool dance routine, and this coming week we start a new one. So that's cool, and I will be happy to keep that up. Yesterday the troupe performed down at the big shopping mall (The Boardwalk) and we went to watch. They did the routine I learned and I mostly knew it. If I'm following someone, I remember it pretty well. I have a hard time remembering it when I'm alone, but someone recorded it, so I can practice it in the future.

Anyway, no more eating bad food, no more "just a glass" of wine. The 6 weeks of boot camp starts back up today.

El Disastro

Well, last Wednesday I fell and sprained my ankle pretty severely. Oh did it ever hurt! So all day Wednesday I sat on my butt and watched DVRd copies of True Blood. I'm mostly caught up on the series, now. It's not bad!

I have hobbled around now almost a week and the ankle is better. I haven't worked out, but I have tried to stick as best as possible to the diet-type of eating. It was waylaid a bit by our trip to San Antonio because I did drink a few alcoholic beverages. Not too many, though, so I feel pretty good about the whole time delay overall.

I AM mad that it's probably going to set me back a little bit on weight loss. However, I do have a very sick little girl at home this morning, (with her daddy while I'm at work. I feel really guilty about this, by the way). So it's possible we're all about to be sick and not want to eat for a while anyway! That's what worried me most about traveling this weekend; every time we used a public restroom I washed our hands with alcohol but you still are never sure.

So this week is an "out" week, too, for major exercise at least, while the ankle is still recovering and now with Maia sick even if I weren't recovering from the ankle I would precautionarily take it easy.

So it can be better can be worse but we're moving along.

Dear Special K:

the "protein water" stuff that's supposed to "fill you up" so it's easier to diet?

Ick. Yuck. Fibrous junky not workiness.

Just thought you'd like to know.

Love, Me.


Dear Peach Yogurt:

Thanks for having my back. Your friend the protein supplement sucks.


Love even more, Me.

well meaning sabotage

The nice thing about having done this once before (lose lots of weight) is I know how it feels. I know that when my skin feels like this, and my fat feels like that, I'm burning lots of calories & losing weight. It just works that way. Your skin feels taught and you can literally feel your waist a teeny bit thinner each day. So I like that. It's a fun feeling after working really really hard to get in the shower and notice the changes.

So I was washing up just now & thought about the way some people respond when I tell them I'm dieting & working on losing 15 pounds by Halloween (it's twice that overall, but realistically, I won't lose that much by October 31).

They say "oh you're not fat! You don't need to lose that much weight". I guess it's well meaning. They want to make me feel good. Here's the deal, though. I know I'm fat. I see myself in mirrors, and I weigh enough (the scale rarely lies) and I know the BMI charts and everything and what they tell me about my weight. You aren't making me feel better by saying I don't need to lose it. I'm not a skinny chick complaining about the fat thighs or tummy pooch no one but her can see (which, by the way, is really annoying skinny people. Stop it.) According to height/weight charts, the weight I am at is unhealthy. I can tell that my blood pressure is high, and I need to workout and eat better.

I'm not trying to be as skinny as I was when I was 21. Lord Goddess no. But I do want to be thinner, and healthy, and show muscle tone, and be able to walk up my flight of steps without feeling it in my thighs and feeling a little breathless.

I guess the reason people think I "don't look fat" is that our culture has gotten bad at the mixed messages. We have a lot of people (especially here in Louisiana) who are way obese. Like, there's gotta be a word higher than "morbidly". And yet, we say "be happy with yourself, don't strive towards an unrealistic image of perfection." Seriously, I do not want to be Cindy Crawford or some other way of being. I simply want to weigh what the weight charts say I should weigh! When people say "I don't look fat" they sabotage my self-image. I think "really? Am I okay this way? Am I being too hard on myself? Should I be happy with who I am?"

NO! I'm not okay. I know that for every pound of the extra weight, I probably shorten my natural life span. I'm sure if I googled it, I could find the actual statistics. So if you're one of those people who say "Oh, no, you're just fine" then stop sabotaging people. If they really really are skinny, then fine, pass them some cookies. But if you can look at that person and there's any doubt in your mind whether they are 10 pounds or 100 pounds overweight, your support would be better offered by saying "Good for you! You'll do great!"

The last time we lost weight (and I keep saying we because it's always a team effort w/ Andrew) it was partly to be healthy when I had babies. I knew that where I was before (about where I am now, actually) was unhealthy & I needed to prepare my flabby butt for childbirth or end up a "before" picture I didn't want to see. And it worked; the healthy level I was at when pregnant probably was a huge part of why I was able to carry the twins to term, and they were NORMAL BABY SIZE. But now, this time, it's all about me, and making sure I am here on this Earth, barring aliens invading and blowing the planet up, as long as I possibly can be for my kids.

And also, looking hot in a Halloween costume. Rawr.

Meh

My workout this morning was adequate, but I have lots of housework to do, so that will burn some calories. I tried a new exercise tape instead of schlepping 20 minutes each way to the base gym. What I can get done with that extra 40 minutes of my day.... but the video was okay. I wasn't feelin' it. I bought these on an "infomercial" impulse when the babies were teeny tiny and never have tried them (Turbo Jam). They aren't bad, and yes, very energetic, but too much kick boxing. I love boxing, but I love it for realz-- with a bag, and gloves, and sweating in the gym like you're beating the crap out of someone. The cutesy "music plus jab" of cardio kickboxing tapes annoy me. Then I tried a bellydancing cardio video I don't think I've ever looked at and it was kind of weird. Even the women in the class looked a bit freaked out, like someone chucked them in the class, tossed a fringey scarf around their hips and said "follow this chick with the accent."

But I did get at least 40 minutes of wiggling and I'm a bit sweaty. It'll do for now. I need to go online and order some of my old standbys for home workout. I've lost most of them since we moved. Andrew has a bad habit of taking all the DVDs out of their cases and then they go bye bye.

Anyway. Week 2 is seeing me fine-- eating well, still, and committed to at least sweaty faux dance faux boxing wiggling for almost an hour. I'll get into a better groove here soon.